An Adventure of a Lifetime
by madmanslash
Summary: What if Biblo Baggins wasn't the only hobbit that joined Thorin Oakenshield's company? What if that other hobbit had been his nephew and a Took? A new take on the Hobbit story with an original male character (OMC) and a few added twists and turns of my own. This is rated M for future content, there will also be a pairing between my OMC and another character in the future.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One- Unexpected Company It was a perfect day.

The sun's warm rays were bounding over the grassy knolls of the shire, shining against the fresh green of the new spring. Birds twittered excitedly as they flew about, gathering twigs and things to make nests for their soon-coming eggs. Young hobbits played along the paths with one another. Their parents tended to their gardens and fields, taking advantage of the beautiful weather.

Yes, it was a perfect day and I was stuck inside. For the day, Uncle had grounded me. It wasn't as if I had done anything on purpose. The previous day, I had been strolling along the worn paths that rolled through the hills of the Shire. The day had been equally as perfect as this one. However, feeling walking forward was a bit boring, I had turned around and begun walking backwards. Even though I received odd looks from those I passed, I found it fun and continued on that way. Unfortunately, I was unable to see Lobelia, a rather prude hobbit if you asked me, who was standing in the path facing away from me. Needless to say, I bumped into her rather hard. This wouldn't have been too bad, except that wasn't all that happened. Losing her balance, Lobelia had fallen face-first into the pie she had been holding.

After that, she had dragged me by the ear back to the smial and ranted to Uncle. Although I could tell that when he first answered the door to Lobelia's pie covered face, he found it amusing, but afterwards was quite the opposite. I had received a long lecture on how childish I was and that I was too old to be acting so silly. I had rolled my eyes several times when he wasn't looking, and listened complacently. I knew that he meant well, but sometimes I thought he might literally have a stick up his arse.

So here I was, confined to the smial and nearly dying of boredom.

"Uhhhh," I let out a heavy sigh as I closed yet another book from the library. In my spare time, I had read almost every book in our collection and found it hard to re-read any of them. I loved to learn about the different cultures and races. Dwarves, elves, goblins, I loved to read about all of them. I had even managed to learn a bit of elvish as most of the books had original and translated texts.

Putting the book back in its place, I made my way to the kitchen. It was only then that I noticed how strangely quiet it seemed. Uncle was a bit of a busy-body, so there was always some kind of noise echoing through the smial. He often cooked, even when it wasn't meal-time, as his pantry was expansive and seemed to never run out. When he didn't cook, he cleaned, tyding the many possessions he had spread along the shelves. But, every so often he did take a brake to smoke his pipe or tend to the garden.

Figuring he had gone out to smoke his pipe, I went to the front door and peeped my head out. Although I did see Uncle smoking his pipe and sitting on the stone bench, he was not the only one I saw. Standing tall beside him was an odd looking man. He had a tall pointed hat, which only added to his stature. He was dressed in gray, raggedy looking robes, a rare site in the Shire as all hobbits like to wear bright clothing. In one hand he held a tall staff made of twisted wood.

What an interesting looking person, I thought, wanting to go out and ask Uncle who he was.

However, I didn't get the chance before they both came closer to the door. Not wanting to be seen, I ducked back inside and waited for him to come back in. After a few minutes, he dove inside looking rather strange and bolting the door shut behind him.

"Who was that, Uncle?" I inquired. He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned.

"No one, strange man. Yes, strange indeed," He barely directed this towards me and stumbled off, muttering to himself. Raising my eyebrows, I looked out the window only to see that no one was there anymore. Dissapointed that the man had dissapeared, I trudged back to the library.

Later that night after Uncle had gone to buy fish for dinner, as fish was only good fresh, I sat at the table as he prepared dinner. I wanted to ask about the man he had been with earlier, but based on his skittishness that had remained since then, I decided it best to leave it alone. "There, finished," He stated as he set down two plates of dinner on the table, a delicious smell wafting into my nose. Joining me at the table, he tucked in a napkin into his shirt. I skipped this and reached for the pepper, sprinkling a generous amount onto the fish. Just as I was about to stab into it with my fork, a ringing echoed through our smial. Both of us paused and looked towards the door.

"Were you expecting company Uncle?"

"No..." He removed his tucked in napkin and went for the door. Curious as to who would visit at such a late hour, I followed behind. When Uncle opened the door, a intimidating person was revealed. His head was bald as a boulder, and looked just as hard, but hair covered his face and the back of his neck. His clothes were strange and I could only be sure that he was wearing many layers. His body looked thick and stocky, but I couldn't tell if it was because of the clothes. I immediately recognized him as a Dwarf and I couldn't help but smile.

"Dwalin, at your service," His voice was just as intimidating and had a slight grit to it.

"Um, ah," I could see the red that rose to Uncle's face as he realized he was only in his night clothes and went to tie his robe. Not one to be discurtious even to strangers, he returned the greeting. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours." As the Dwarf, now known as Dwalin, moved to enter our home Uncle simply moved to the side confused. "Um, do we know each other?"

Dwalin looked at Uncle strangely and replied with a gruff, "No." I almost had to laugh at the perplexed look Uncle wore. "Which way laddy, is it down here." He didn't say it much as a question, but more of a statement.

"Excuse me, is what where?"

"Supper, he said there'd be food and plenty of it," I stayed by the door and watched Uncle hurry behind the Dwarf, still confused as ever. Before shutting the door and following, something caught my eye. Kneeling down, I noticed a small marking scratched into the door. Rubbing my neck, I frowned.

"Funny, I thought Uncle just painted the door," Figuring Uncle had enough trouble with the unsuspected visitor, I shut the door and went back to the kitchen. I was met with the sight of the Dwarf scarfing down biscuits as if he hadn't eaten for weeks.

"I wasn't um, expecting anyone this evening," Uncle said, just as the door rang yet again. The Dwarf looked glaringly at Uncle.

"That'll be the door," Uncle stood there still rather shocked looking so I offered to get the door and ran to it before any protests could be made. I opened the door and, surprise, another stranger stood on the porch. It was another Dwarf who, luckily, was much less intimidating than the previous. His head and face were full with white hair and his clothes were just as strange. He looked rather cheery though and held a smile.

"Balin, at your service," He said and gave a whimsical bow.

"Um...Milo Tooks." I returned.

"Am I late?"

"Um...no, I don't believe you are," I answered, unsure of what exactly he was worried about being late for. He went to talk again, but stopped mid-sentence and looked behind me. Following his gaze, I saw that Uncle and the first Dwarf had wandered into the entryway. The two yelled loudly at each other in greeting and I winced at the sudden barrage on my eardrums. Then I winced again when they suddenly slammed their heads to together.

Dwarves are indeed very strange, I concluded.

"Um, I'm sorry, but I'm not entirely sure you're in the right place. It's not that I don't like visitors, but-" The two Dwarves went right on ignoring Uncle and proceeded to get mugs and fill them. Figuring that they were doing no harm, I also grabbed a drink and sat off to the side to laugh as I watched Uncle try to politely tell them they were being a bother. Not that they were listening, of course. The three of them had moved to the pantry when the door bell rang for a third time.

"Humph," Uncle humphed, "Milo, would you get the door?" Nodding, I set down my drink and went to the door. Low and behold, two more Dwarves stood before me! These two looked much younger than the others, perhaps around my age. Their beards were much shorter but the clothes were just the same.

"Fili"

"Kili"

"At your service" They bowed and repeated the same words just as the other two had. "You must be Master Baggins!"

"Although, I did imagine you quite a bit older," One of them said and I gave a small chuckle.

"Ah, no. Uncle is inside, with the other two," I corrected them, pointing inside and moving the door open wider to let them in. Who was I to push out guests? They clearly were at the right home.

"Only two? We're early then," Only two? How many more could there be? "Careful, they've just been sharpened" My eyes widened as one handed me an armful of sheathed weapons, which I placed carefully by the other things the previous Dwarves' things. I then looked over as the other was wiping the mud off his shoes on one of Uncle's many boxes. He was going to have plenty to clean later.

Soon enough they walked off and I could hear the greetings that echoed from the dining room. Uncle's protests could also be heard, but were drowned out by the sound of a table being dragged across the floor. Yet again the doorbell rang. I made no waste in opening it again. Although a smial full of Dwarves would be rather stressful for Uncle, it would be entirely fun for me. However, this time instead of just one or two Dwarves, a whole pile toppled inside and I had to hop back quickly to avoid being fallen on. It was only when a head popped in from the top of the doorway did I see a recognizable face. It was the man in gray from earlier that day.

"And who might you be?"

"Oh, Milo Tooks," As soon as I said it, a grin spread across his lips and glint appeared in his eyes.

"A Tooks, excellent. Where would Bilbo Baggins be?"

"Uncle is this way," I shut the door behind the large group after the man in gray got in with a little difficulty and led them to the dining room. I was rather surprised when all of the Dwarves started bringing food in from the pantry and moving chairs and furniture. At one point one of them had handed me a whole wheel of cheese to bring to the table and I had simply shrugged and done so.

"Milo, what on earth are you doing?!" By now Uncle was a mess, telling everyone who passed to "put that back" or "set that down" and such things.

"If you can't beat them, join them," I said with a shrug of the shoulders and he just looked on, flabbergasted. After setting down the cheese, I made my way away from the bustling group of Dwarves and into the hall, watching as they continued their task. It was then I noticed the gray man stumbling around everyone as he bumped his head on a small chandelier. "Are you all right Mister...?"

"Gandalf, and yes, I'm quite fine."

"Um, would you happen to be a wizard?" Although his staff and pointed hat had been a big tip-off, I had read that sometimes men dressed this way as well.

"Indeed I am," He said in a prideful way, almost proud that someone had realized he was such.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you all doing here?"

"Preparing for an adventure," The mention of an adventure made my eyes go big and my heart swell. Uncle had always said it was the rebellious Took side of me that made me love adventures. Never had I gone on one, but I loved to read about them. I loved to go adventuring across the Shire and sometimes would even go outside of the bounds of the Shire, but never did I tell Uncle that. I found being stuck inside to be boring and monotonous and always stayed out as long as I could. Something told me that the wizard recognized this as he smiled and that glint returned in his eyes. However, it soon disappeared when he again stumbled due to the multitude of Dwarves crowding the way.

"Now let's see, Oin, Gloin...," He quietly began to mutter to himself, appearing to be counting the Dwarves. Figuring Uncle would be needing some assistance in cooping with our new company, I made my way to the pantry. I was speechless as I saw it was now almost completely barren. Uncle stood just as shocked.

"Well, seems we'll need to go to the market tomorrow," I laughed nervously, attempting to lighten the air, but Uncle only harrumphed in reply. I looked to the side in the dining room as the Dwarves sat at the table, tossing food about and passing out mugs. The only silence made was when they all chugged down their drinks, which was broken by the resulting belches and cheers. Soon they were done and walking about when one of the younger Dwarves walked up to Uncle, who had been raving to Gandalf about the mess being made in his home, and asked, "What do we do with the dishes?"

That's when it began, the dishes were tossed about, going from Dwarf to Dwarf until they reached the sink. Soon enough the were stomping their feet and swiping the silverware, creating a rhythm.

"Stop, you'll blunt the knives!" Uncle said in protest.

"Oh, Uncle, they're only doing the dishes!" I laughed, a pleasant sense of joy overcoming me. It wasn't often we had parties, but when we did they were dull and boring. This, this was free and fun. There were no rules, no etiquette, just enjoyment.

"Blunt the knives, Bend the forks" I laughed as I heard them begin to sing, their lyrics making fun of Uncle's worrying.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks, Chip the glasses and crack the plates, That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" By now Uncle had given up and stood there grumpy, but I was having a great time and was soon stomping to the tune. Dishes were flying with surprising speed and the Dwarves flung and caught them with ease, creating neat stacks. At the end of their song, Uncle pushed through their crowd only to have his jaw drop when he realized everything was in perfect condition.

"Told you Uncle, they were only doing the dishes," Suddenly, there was someone at the door. This time though, there was no doorbell, but a heavy knock which sounded as if it shook the door. Everyone fell silent. What had been a jovial atmosphere suddenly turned quiet and tense and I got the impression that everyone except Uncle and myself knew who it was.


	2. Chapter 2

Recap-

Suddenly, there was someone at the door. This time though, there was no doorbell, but a heavy knock which sounded as if it shook the door. Everyone fell silent. What had been a jovial atmosphere suddenly turned quiet and tense and I got the impression that everyone except Uncle and myself knew who it was.

Chapter Two- Talk of Quests

It was Gandalf who opened the door, but I did not see who it was for I was only just shorter than the Dwarves and therefore they blocked my sight. I could here the newcomer though, and something in his voice and how everyone listened so earnestly told me he was of importance.

Along with Uncle, I wiggled my way through to see the person who had the power to silence such a rowdy group. It was another Dwarf, but there was something that separated him from the rest. There was no joyful air around him, but a seriousness that sobered you. He stood tall and straight, even if there was no reason too.

"Bilbo Baggins... and Milo Took, allow me to introduce you to the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." I felt a bit confused as to why I was also introduced as I was sure these Dwarves were only here to see Uncle, even though that was still not for sure.

"So... these are the Hobbits." Thorin said, looking the pair of us up and down, almost as if he was appraising an object he was about to buy. "Tell me, have either of you had experience with fighting? Axe, sword, or something else?" He asked while circling around before coming to a stop.

"Well, I am quite adapt at conquers, but I fail to see how...that's relevant," Uncle replied.

"Thought as much," His attention then shifted to me. "And you?"

"Um, I have a bit of practice with daggers," I said somewhat bashfully. Uncle looked at me as if this was the first he had heard of it, which it was. Hobbits were naturally peaceful and although so was I, I did enjoy the satisfaction of being able to hit a target. I felt as though this Dwarf was someone I should impress and didn't want to hide any of my talents simply because Uncle would disapprove.

Thorin nodded before turning to Uncle. "Looks more like a grocer than a burglar, if you ask me," Thorin said and received a round of chuckles. I frowned and my face grew somewhat hot, angry yet embarrassed by his comment. Once there and settled they spoke of things that sounded of a political nature that I did not understand the significance of.

It was not until the mention of a quest came about that I truly paid attention. Uncle brought in a candle at Gandalf's request as he pulled out a map from his gray robes. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." I looked as the map was placed on the table. A simple drawing of a lone mountain was on it, with a dragon drawn above. Some sort of runes illustrated it, most likely a Dwarvish language that I was unable to read.

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Aye," Came the rough voice of one of the Dwarves, whose name I could not recall. "Oin has read the portense, and the portense said it is time." A small series of groans resulted. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain,"

"Time for what?" I asked, before thinking and felt somewhat out of place when everyone turned their heads to me.

"Time to reclaim the mountain from the beast," Dwalin said gravely.

"Um, what beast?" It was Uncle who asked this time. He was met with a more casual answer, even though it's contents seemed just as grave.

"That would be referring to Smaug, The Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat-hooks, extremely fond of precious metal." A dwarf with a rather unique hat stated simply,as if he was talking about the weather.

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Uncle said abruptly, looking a bit nervous and wringing his hands, a habit he had yet to notice. This was followed by a statement of one of the younger Dwarves which everyone roused at. This then started comments of their abilities, going back and forth and created quite a bit of noise as each Dwarve yelled over the other. This was silenced at once when Thorin yelled something loudly, what exactly I did not know, and stood suddenly. They all sat and shut their mouths at once.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. Smaug has not been seen for sixty years, the vast wealth of our people lays unprotected. Shall we sit back as others claim what is rightfully ours, or shall we take back Erebor?!" A round of cheers sounded but were soon silenced by Balin.

"The gates are still sealed, there is no way into the mountain."

"That my dear Balin, is not entirely true," With that Gandalf twirled a key between his fingers which had most definitely not been there before. It was by no means an ordinary key. It was made of a dark silver metal and its handle was made of diamond shapes looped together.

"How came you by this?" I was surprised to hear Thorin sound so out of breath. His previous voice of steel had faltered some what at the sight of this key, a key that seemed to be of utmost importance.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain."

"If there's a key, then there must be a door," Gandalf nodded and pointed to the runes on the map. "These speak of a hidden passage and the answer to where is hidden in the map as well, and although I do not possess the knowledge to decipher it, I know of others who do. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage," Gandalf looked towards Uncle and I when he said this last part and a bit of hope rose in my belly. "But if you're careful, clever, and willing, it can be done."

"And that's why we need a burglar!"

"Yes, a good one too," Uncle Bilbo concluded. I frowned and realized his words. There was no chance we could be part of this quest. Although I had some skill in throwing daggers and doing other things, it was no where near the level of skill to take back a mountain, let alone kill a dragon.

"Definitely and expert it would have to be," I mumbled in agreement.

"And are you?" Balin inquired. "Are we what?" Uncle and I asked simultaneously, confused.

"They said they're experts!" A dwarf who had a horn held by his ear shouted. Then it dawned on me. They thought we were burglars! More importantly, they wanted us to join them on their quest! I felt the excitement that had been extinguished just moments ago rise back up.

"You mean you want us to join you?!" I asked, unable to contain my joy.

"Of course, why else would we be here?"

"Now, hold on a second! We are no burglars, we do not steal!"Uncle said, obviously appalled by the very idea.

"I have to agree with Master Baggins, Hobbits do not fit the part of a burglar," Balin stated and was followed by the agreement of others. I folded my arms and humphed while Uncle looked rather pleased. This was how our opinions often fell, opposite of each other.

"Enough!" Gandalf rose to his full height, the air darkening around him. "If I say these hobbits are burglars, then burglars they are!" The chatter stopped and everyone starred wide-eyed, including myself, as he cleared his throat before settling back into his seat. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet and can be near invisible when they wish to be. Also, the dragon will not be familiar with the smell of hobbit, giving us an advantage," Uncle's and I's demeanor switched when Gandalf said this. "You asked me to find the final members of this company, and I have chosen Bilbo Baggins and Milo Tooks, who have a great deal more to offer than it seems," Gandalf first said to Thorin, before directing the last bit to the whole table.

"Very well, give them the contract," Thorin said and Balin pulled out a large, folded piece of paper. Uncle hadn't noticed as he was again trying to deny his invitation into the company, so I instead took it and let it unravel onto the floor. It was extremely long and had several areas that unfolded sideways to reveal more information. Several sentences I read made my stomach clench, but at the same time made my chest swell.

"Milo, what does it say?" Uncle went to grab for the paper, but I turned away, knowing he would not be keen when he saw some of the things discussed.

"Oh, just some ordinary things. Expenses and such, liabilities and things..." I trailed off.

"Liabilities?"

"Oh you know, with there being a dragon involved..." Uncle snatched it out of my hands before I could avoid him again and began muttering as he read.

"Lacerations...incineration...incineration?!" He asked the dwarves.

"Aye, it'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye," I winced at the response and looked over to Uncle. He had suddenly paled and was holding onto his knees, taking odd breaths.

"Uncle, are you alright?" I asked, moving my hands out in case he decided to fall.

"Um, just a bit faint, just need a moment," He straightened up for a moment and seemed fine, but then a dwarf said something about a pile of ash and he hit the floor.

"Oh, dear," I sighed and scratched my head. I walked to him and lightly slapped his cheek, nothing. "Uncle?" Nothing again. Not really wanting to do what i was about to, but knowing it was the fastest way to make him come out of it, I reached back my hand and planted a firm smack on his cheek. Right away he shot his eyes open and grasped his cheek which was already pinkish.

"Gracious Milo, you didn't need to do that!" Uncle groaned. The dwarves looked at us a bit shocked.

"Yes, I did."

Hey there! Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review and tell me what you think so far. The first few chapters will be a bit slow, but I plan on putting on a new chapter at least once a week, if not more. Also, as the story progresses, the more I will put in my own twists and turns.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three- Sounds of the Night

Gandalf had taken Uncle into a separate room, leaving me with the dwarves. Thorin and Balin stood and walked elsewhere, along with a few others who went to wander the house. It was all of the older dwarves that had left the dining room, which all of us younger ones sitting in silence.

I turned to look at the two brothers, Fili and Kili, if I remembered correctly, as they whispered to each other. They stopped, looked at me, then whispered again. Quirking my eyebrow at their odd behavior, I ignored it and took a drink from my mug, just realizing that I had not eaten in all of the excitement. I contemplated going to the pantry to look for something, but doubted the dwarves had left much worth eating.

I went to take another drink but paused when someone cleared their throat. Looking back to the brothers, they were now blatantly staring at me. "Um, yes?" I asked, perplexed by their staring.

"Well, we were wondering..."

"If you're a hobbit why do you have such small feet?" I frowned at the question. It was true that my feet were extremely small for a hobbit, as they were humanly proportionate to my body rather than hobbitly proportionate. I was often teased for it as hobbit's feet were a bit of a source of pride. Sure, I still had strong soles and a patch of hair, but like in any other matter, size seemed to be a major factor.

"Well, I'm a quarter human on my mother's side, so they are humanly proportioned," I said, a bit off-put by them having asked such a rude question. It was not as if the question itself was entirely rude, but it was the abrupt way in which they asked it.

"A quarter human? That's strange, I've never heard of hobbits and humans having relations before," Again, they stated it in such a matter of fact way, as if they hadn't just implied I was odd. Before I could retort to them, I saw Uncle walking down the hallway.

Excusing myself, I hurried after him. "Uncle!" I said as I strode behind him, "What did you say? Are we going?"

"No," His short reply came, but I couldn't help but hear the ounce of guilt that escaped with it.

"But, Uncle! They need our help," I said, trying to reason with him.

"No, Milo, they only needed it because the believed us to be burglars, which we most certainly are not,"

"What does it matter if we are not? Who is to say that we do not have any skills we could use to assist them? They obviously need all the help that they can get and -," I stopped as Uncle suddenly halted in front of me without turning around.

"Listen, Milo. There is nothing we can do, nothing we are able of. We just can't...," He trailed off before walking off. I would have followed him, insisted more, had it not been for what I heard in his voice. As he had spoken, I could hear nothing but the guilt and despair in his voice. It was as if he desperately wanted to believe that he had nothing to offer the dwarves, even though I knew he did. My heart fell heavy and I let out a sorrowful sigh. It seemed there was no chance for me in their quest.

That night, as I retired to my bed, I fell asleep to the sorrowful, deep song of the dwarves of Erebor.

The next morning, I awoke to the startling sounds of cluttering, banging, and crashing. Sitting up and squinting my eyes as the bright sun was shining through my window, I let myself become more aware before going to investigate. Stumbling along the wall, I soon found myself in the living area, staring at the strangest sight.

Uncle was darting in and out of the room, bringing various items back each time and shoving them into a pack that was lying in the middle of the floor. At first he did not notice me, but when he did, a brilliant smile stretched his lips.

"Hurry and pack your things, or we'll be late!" Not quite sure what was happening, I waited a few minutes before opening my mouth.

"Late for what?"

"Late for our adventure!" Once I had been slapped awake by his statement, we had both hurried to gather our packs, sign the contract and leap out the door. I laughed in utter joy as I ran after Uncle who lept over fences and across pastures, something he had always scolded me for. People gave us strange looks we ran past, shaking their heads, but we could care less. We were going on an adventure!

Catching up to the dwarves had not taken very much time. When we had caught site of the behinds of their ponies, we were only barely away from the borders of the Shire. "Wait! Wait!" Uncle called, contract nearly flying out of his hands as we ran to catch open. The ponies slowed to a stop, as did we. "We've signed it!" He stated rather proudly, smiling and handing the paper to Dwalin.

"So it appears to be. Welcome, Master Baggins and Master Tooks, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." This resulted in a round of cheery laughs and I couldn't help but have a smile.

"Give them their ponies," Thorin's deep voice said and Uncle immediately began to refuse.

"Ah, no,no, no, no. That won't be necessary, I can walk on foot, no need for a pony," Behind Uncle I stood and shook my head. Even though we had agreed to join their quest, he was still so stubborn. I had to hold in a shriek of surprise as two arms grabbed me from behind and plopped me onto a pony. I looked to my sides and saw that it was the brothers again. The laughed heartily while I frowned and grabbed onto the reigns. They went ahead of me and repeated the same thing with Uncle.

Riding on the ponies was rather easy going. We kept on riding for the whole day, not once stopping, not even to eat. We had to eat lunch on the backs of the ponies and everyone laughed when one dwarf's food fell and he had to scramble to get it and then scramble back onto his pony.

The day seemed to end quickly and we found a small indent in a rocky hill side in the forest and made camp. Night had now fallen and while some slept, most of us sat around the make-shift fire. I had somehow ended up by Fili and Kili yet again. They sat and stared into the fire, smoking their pipes. I had been unable to sleep. Unaccustomed to the nightly sounds of the forest, I twitched and looked around wearily at every sound that echoed through the trees. It was when Uncle had gotten up that the most frightening sound could be heard. It sounded of a mix between shrill screams and the screech of a bird. It could be heard several times, yet it seemed only Uncle and I cringed at it.

"What was that?" Uncle asked, pointing out across the trees in the direction the sound had come from.

"Orcs," "Throat-cutters, there'll be dozens of them out there," Kili and Fili answered. "They strike in the wee hours of the night, while everyone's asleep. That way, there's no screams, just a lot of blood." Uncle looked at them, horrified, when they started to quietly laugh. Although their laughs told me they meant only to scare him, I couldn't help but believe there was truth to what they had said.

Suddenly Thorin, who had been sitting away from the fire, stood and glared at the two. "You think a night raid by Orcs is something to laugh at?" The two looked down, looking reprimanded.

"We didn't mean anything by it,"

"Of course you didn't," Thorin scoffed and walked away towards the far end of our camp. His words only confirmed my fears.

"Don't worry, laddy." Balin said, walking closer to the fire. "Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs. After the dragon had taken over the mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom Morhia. But our enemy had gotten there first. Morhia had been taken by legions of orcs, led by the most vile of all their race, Azog the Defiler. He had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin, beginning with beheading the king." I looked towards Thorin, who had his back towards the camp. Somehow I felt that if I were to see his face at that moment, it would be filled with sorrow, even though he stood tall. "Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief and went missing, no one truly knows what his fate was. We were leaderless, defeat and death were upon us." I imagined masses of Orcs and Dwarves, swarming against each other, swinging swords as countless dropped to the ground lifeless. "That is when I saw him. A young dwarf prince, facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone, his armor gone and wielding nothing but a broken branch as a shield. Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back, Our enemy, had been defeated. But there was no feast nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few, had survived and I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one, who I could call king." Looking to Thorin again, I now saw that the whole company had awakened and stood to face Thorin. Thorin only turned around, looking upon us with a somber face.

"The Pale Orc, what happened to him?" Uncle asked.

"He slunk back into the hole from whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Everyone fell deathly silent. The air was now tense as everyone slowly returned to their bed bundles. Knowing it was best that I tried to sleep as well, I found a bare spot on the ground and tucked into my bundle. Pulling the edge as far over my face as I could, I shivered as I listened to the forest's screams. It was a long time before I drifted into sleep.

Woo! Another chapter! And in the same night, I must be magical...or hyped op on caffeine. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four- Dumb As a Troll

The next day, the rain was unrelenting. This was quite odd as the weather the previous day had shown no signs of clouds or rain, so none had expected the sudden downpour.

It didn't take long before all of us were thoroughly soaked along with our ponies. The awful smell of the wet ponies hung around us. When someone had complained of the smell, Thorin had said they were more than welcome to walk. No one said a word after that. Occasionally, a pony's hooves would get stuck in the thick mud and the whole company would have to stop to wait for it to be pulled out. This happened several times and each time it took several minutes for the hooves to be wrenched free.

Our nights were spent crammed into small caves that we found, trying to stay as dry as we could. There was no fire to dry us as all of the surrounding would was just as soaked as rain carried on and on, never seeming to let up. It was the third day of rain when one of the dwarves asked Gandalf if he could do anything about the rain.

"It is raining, Master Dori, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." was Gandalf's reply.

The rain wasn't done for another two days. On the day that it finally did stop, it stopped as abruptly as it had started. The only sign that there had ever been rain was the still muddy ground. Nearing the end of the day, all of us had dried from the sun and were pleasantly happy of the change in weather. We were even happier when we came across a small, abandoned farm that would be perfect for spending the night. Well, all except Gandalf.

"I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the hidden valley," He had said after appraising the worn down shack that had most likely been the farmer's home. Disgruntled, Thorin walked towards him, away from where the rest of us were. He and Gandalf talked, but they were just far enough to where I could not make out what they were saying. It wasn't long before Gandalf was storming through us and away from camp.

"Is everything alright? Where are you going, Gandalf?" Uncle asked while petting his pony.

"To seek the company of the only one around here that has any sense!"

"Who would that be?"

"Myself, Master Baggins!" As the night grew dark, Gandalf did not return. Though no one spoke of it, I knew I was not the only one who was worried he would not return. Whenever it was mentioned, the Dwarves would shrug it off, saying that he was a wizard and did as he pleased. It had been left at that.

Thorin had assigned everyone something to do. Kili and Fili were watching the ponies, Oin and Gloin had been sent to gather dry wood and build a fire, and Bombur had been put to the task of making a meal of what we had. That left Nori, Dori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bwalin, Balin, Uncle and myself to lay out the belongings that had not dried in the sun that day. There wasn't much as most of the sacs we used were hide and water-resistant, but there was enough to where laying everything out was a bit of a chore. There were cloaks, blankets, hats, and a few spare set of clothes that were still relatively wet from the rain.

By the time we had finished setting out everything, Bombur announced that the stew was done and we gathered around the nice fire the Oin and Gloin had finished. Looking around as everyone began to eat, slurping loudly, I noticed Uncle was missing. "Where has Bilbo gone?" I asked, feeling a bit weird using his name, as I usually only called him Uncle.

"Ah, I sent him to bring some stew to Fili and Kili, but that was a bit ago, should've been back by now," Bofur said as he looked around, his hat swinging around. "Best if you go fetch him," I nodded and took my bowl of stew with me. I had learned by experience that it was not wise to leave my food unattended by the dwarves, as they would gobble it up without hesitation.

Walking to where the ponies were being kept, dread washed over me. I saw neither Fili, Kili, nor Uncle and there was much less than fifteen ponies. Looking around, I set down my bowl and whispered, "Uncle?" There was no response, not that I was expecting one. Walking to the center of the ponies, I noticed that a tree had split down, splintering where it had broken and fallen. It was then that the ground shook. I stumbled and dove behind what was left of the tree as I heard an obnoxious voice follow the shaking ground.

"Ponies, a nice change from mutton. Been havin' too much mutton, been havin' it for weeks," Peeking over the tree, I saw a grotesque looking creature. It was extremely tall and fat, it's belly rippling as it walked. I couldn't be sure in the darkness, but it's skin looked sickly green or grey and I almost gagged when I saw it's feet. I wanted to say it was a troll, but I wasn't sure. It walked over to two of the ponies and hoisted them up under each arm, the ponies neighing and kicking wildly. Once it had both ponies, it walked back to where it had come from. Once it was far enough, I ran out from behind the tree and followed it, being careful to dive behind trees every now and again to keep from being seen. It was only a moment before I stopped behind a tree and saw it drop the ponies into a make-shift pen and sit at a fire. At the fire were two other creatures of the same nature and just as disgusting in appearance.

Looking back to the ponies, I was shocked to see Uncle trying to undo the loop on the pen! "Uncle!" I whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear, but so as not to alarm the creatures. His head whipped in my direction, eyes as big as saucers.

"Milo, what on Earth...!" He stopped and ducked behind a pony as one creature stood up and looked our way. I pressed my back to the tree and held my breath. Waiting a moment or two, I went to whisper to Uncle again, but he was gone. Confused, I glanced around and nearly choked when I saw him sneaking behind the creature that had sat back down.

Cursing him, I looked for something I could do, but my position did not provide the best vantage point. Looking up, I saw the branches of the tree and the dense thicket of leaves that covered them. Being sure to make little noise, I clambered up the tree. The leaves rustled a bit as I settled into a spot, but the creatures were making plenty of noise themselves. Pushing aside a branch just enough for me to see but still stay hidden, I watched Uncle below. He was directly behind one and trying to reach for a sword like object by his side. I clapped my hands over my mouth as the thing suddenly reached behind him, grabbed Uncle, and sneezed into him. I would have laughed if not for the urgency of the situation. The thing shrieked and stood, grabbing the attention of the others. They stood and stared at Uncle as the one that had sneezed on him shrieked," Ah! Oh, what's come out of me 'ooter?!"

"What do you suppose it is?"

"I don't know, but I don't like the way it moves around!" With that, Uncle was flicked onto the ground, covered in troll snot and now dirt.

"What are you then? Huh?" "A burglar or, um, a hobbit," I shook my head. Leave to Uncle to blatantly say he's a burglar.

"A burglar hobbit?!"

"Let's cook 'im!" My heart leapt into my throat as they all stood around him. Looking around me, I picked up a handful of acorns resting in the crook of the branches and threw them as hard as I could at the trolls. Luckily, they hit one directly in the eye, making him scream and clutch his eye.

"Ow, who threw that?!"

"Who threw what?"

"Someone has thrown nuts in me eye!" Their attention was now diverted from Uncle as the looked to see where the nuts had come from, but that didn't last long. As soon as Uncle tried to sneak away, he was picked up by an arm and hefted into the air.

"Not so fast now!" He was held by the trolls face. "Are there anymore of you?"

"Nope, uh, just me,"

"Liar! Hold him over the fire! Then he'll squeal!" Without any warning, Kili jumped from nowhere and slashed at the back of the trolls leg. It howled in pain and looked for the source of it's pain, eyes landing angrily on the lone dwarf.

"Drop him!" Kili demanded, sword held sternly in front of him. The troll said said nothing and he demanded again, "Drop him!" The troll growled this time and threw Uncle at him and as soon as the two hit the ground, Thorin, Fili, Dwalin, Balin, everyone rushed from out of the bushes, wielding weapons and heading for the trolls. I watched in amazement as they slashed at the trolls' feet, legs and bellies, the only things they could reach, diving out of the way of kicks and grabbing hands. Looking for Uncle, I saw him go for the troll's sword and race toward the pen, sawing against the rope. Within moments it was cut and the horses neighed wildly as the galloped away. This did not go unnoticed by the trolls and when one went to grab him, Uncle was unable to run out of the way. Within a flash of the eye, he was being held by all four limbs in the air. All of the dwarves stopped and looked at him.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip his arms off!" My heart clenched and my stomach tied in knots as I looked at Thorin. I felt so useless, I could only sit by and watch. I had no weapons to fight them with, and I had no chance against the , Thorin slowly set down his sword, the rest of the dwarves reluctantly following suit.

Within minutes they were left in their under clothes, tied in sacs atop each other, some tied to a spit over a fire.

"Hurry up and cook 'em! Dawn ain't far and I don't fancy being turned to stone," A lightbulb went off in my head and I looked to the horizon. The sun light was just barely peeking over the mountains, but the sun was still behind them. If the trolls were stalled long enough, the sun could rise and turn them to stone!

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!" Before any ideas had the chance to come to my mind, Uncle Bilbo was shouting at the trolls. "The thing with the-uh- with the seasoning, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something much stronger than sage before you cook these fellas!" The dwarves roared in disagreement, but I knew what he was up to immediatly. Great minds think alike.

"Oh? Then tell my burglar hobbit, what do you recommend?" The troll asked maliciously, but completely intersted.

"Well, the secret to um cooking dwarf is to skin them first!" I buried my face in my hands. Great minds may think alike, but not identically.

"What a load of rubbish!" One of the other trolls said, "I've eaten plenty with the skins on, there's nothing wrong with them! In fact, raw is the way to go!" With that, the troll picked up the nearest dwarf and held him above his open mouth.

"Not that one, he's infected!" The troll looked at the dwarf, disgusted and dropped him quickly. "In fact, they all have worms! Big, nast worms, in their... tubes!"

"Hare dare you, we don't have parasites!"

"Yes, yes they do!" Uncle and the dwarves began to yell over each other, the dwarves clearly not understanding what he was trying to do. The trolls began to tire of the arguing quickly and looked ready to smash them then and there when...

"Ow, me eye again!" Everyone stopped and looked at the troll who was now holding his eye. I had grabbed the acorns again and thrown them. For all intensive purposes, it had worked.

"Not this again! Who's is thrown nuts at us?!" In reply, I grabbed another handful and threw. This time they hit the other troll in the nose and he shrieked. Now, angry, the trolls looked wildly around, trying to figure out what was happening. The dwarves and uncle looked just as confused, but none-the-less thankful.

Grabbing another handful, I carefully moved further out on a branch, hoping to get a better shot. However, as I went to step on a thinner branch, it snapped under my weight and I fell out of the tree onto the ground. Luckily I hadn't been high enough to break anything, but the impact still hurt quite a lot. I didn't have time to recover before I was picked up by my leg and dangled upside down.

"Milo!" I looked to the dwarves who looked utterly shocked. They probably hadn't even noticed me missing in all of the commotion.

"You's the one who's been throwing nuts in my eye!"

"The dawn shall take you all!" The thundering voice reverberated through the air. Everyone looked to the source and none other than Gandalf stood atop a boulder, horizon at his back. He raised his staff and with a brilliant crack, brought it down on the boulder, splitting it in two and flooding the area with light. The trolls yelled and writhed as they slowly began to stiffen, turning to stone. I realised I was still in the stone-troll's grasp and let out a hefty sigh.

"I swear you dwarves are as dumb as trolls."

Finally some excitement! Please leave a review if you read, it helps me make the chapters better :)


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